Apartheid discussions at youth camp, careworkers training in Bushbuckridge, and a great weekend!

Hello everyone!
So, I got a phone call from one of my avid blog-readers (shout-out to the one and only Ms. Brittney Marie!) and I have decided to commit myself to updating much more regularly.

So what has been going on this week? Well, we finished off the children’s camp last Sunday. It was so sad to see the kids leave! One of them has been calling me almost every day – what a sweetheart! They are so sweet and need so much love. It feels so great to know that we as an organization are doing what we can to restore their hope and to give them guidance in their futures. The session on Sunday was great – it was all about their dreams and what they will have to do to get there, so they were able to ask questions of each of us, about our career choices and why we decided to pursue them. It was so interesting and really helpful for them, I think. Then, at lunchtime, I sat with a group of kids and had some really deep conversations with them! One of the more outspoken girls at the camp began asking me a lot of questions about race, because obviously they do not get to talk to a white person that often, if at all. In fact, it was probably the first time she was able to have a candid conversation with a white person and ask whatever she wanted. I had told them that I studied sociology and defined what it is, explaining that my focus was on how people from different racial and socioeconomic groups interact.

One of the first questions she asked me was, “Why do black people rush?” I didn’t understand what she meant, and then she explained herself: she was wondering why, in her observations, do black people have kids so early and do things like have sex and use drugs and alcohol at such an early age? The question was interesting because the black-white dynamic here is so different, yet so similar. Obviously, black people are the VAST majority (we’re in Africa lol!) but due to colonization and apartheid particularly in South Africa, many of the same socioeconomic problems we have in the U.S. in terms of black communities exist here in South Africa. I explained to her that because such a great number of black people live in poverty here, people have less hope for a bright future. Whereas most white kids have the comfort of expecting to go to good schools, to graduate, and to head on to higher education, black kids living in poverty do not have this luxury. Because they can’t foresee a positive future for themselves, they are less likely to consider the negative consequences of “rushing” into things they shouldn’t be doing yet (or at all), because why would it matter if you have a baby, if you didn’t think it was possible to finish school or pursue higher education anyway?

Then, because we had opened up the conversation about racial disparity and poverty, she asked, “Why is it like that?” So then we got into a huge discussion about discrimination and apartheid, how black people had been held down for so long, and freedom only happened 16 years ago, so even though more opportunities are available now than before, most people are still stuck in the rut of poverty that they were placed in under apartheid. Thus, her next question was: “Do you feel sorry for what the white people did?” I explained that “feeling sorry” was a difficult way for me to put it, because the connotation is that I feel pity, like I am looking down from a higher place. I explained instead that I feel a righteous indignation (I used simpler words than that, of course), that it angers and upsets me that anyone would treat another one of God’s creations differently because of the color of their skin, and that the atrocities which happened during apartheid, in pre-Civil Rights America, and other countries, are horrible and sickening. I explained to her that that’s why I do the work that I do, to work to restore what was so horribly broken during that time.

That statement led to her next question: “Are there no poor people in America for you to help?” This question absolutely hit me to the core, because as I mentioned in my last post, I have been feeling this fierce tug inside of me between serving here, and going back home to serve in my own community. It’s felt very strange for me to be here in a sense, because most of the “international volunteers” from Canada, UK, etc, come from more privileged communities where there is not nearly as much of a need as there is here. I, on the other hand, was born and raised in the most economically depressed metropolitan area and state in the country… why, then, am I spending a year serving here in South Africa instead of there? As much as this question bothers me, I remember that God called me here to South Africa for a purpose, and I know that this is where He wants me to be at this time. I suspect that He is going to use what I learn here to equip me for His plans for me back in Detroit/Southfield. So I explained this whole messy situation to her. I explained that America is not full of rich people, as the South African kids I work with usually perceive, and we are not all living like they see on TV. Although the poverty in the U.S. is not nearly as dire as the poverty here, it is still very real, very painful, and very destructive. I told her that my heart is torn in two, not knowing where I can best use what God has given me to serve the human family, that maybe I will never be fully settled in one place. It’s something I’m struggling with, and her question put me at a standstill!

After I explained to her that, while I grew up blessed in many ways, I in no way come from the riches which she perceives all Americans have, she asked me what she could do, even as one of the “poor helping the poor.” What a profound question, which made my heart smile! I gave her some examples of things which don’t cost money, which people can do to serve their communities. I told her about how one of my favorite things is to tutor and mentor young people from my community, and that she could do this spending only time, not money. She was so encouraged to know that it’s not about people with privilege coming to help those without, but that we can all use what we have to serve. And it was so beautiful, because this is the central message of Hands at Work, and this is the biggest message which I plan to take home with me. We can use what’s in our hands, what God has given us, no matter how “poor” we perceive ourselves to be.

So that was Sunday. What a deep and profound day! Then, from Monday to Thursday of this past week, I have been observing foundational training for the careworkers who look after the orphans under the care of Hands’ partner organizations. It has been such an eye-opening experience! This training is so important, because oftentimes the careworkers are struggling themselves to make ends meet; they may be widows, or young mothers, or taking care of parents. But despite all this, they have decided to give of their time to serve the most vulnerable children in their community, so this training is very important to help them understand even their own hurts and pains, as they prepare to minister to children who are dealing with a lot of pain as well. A deep moment came on the first day, in the morning, when we did an activity to get to know each other. We had to ask a partner several questions about themselves, and then introduce them to the group. One woman, when asked what makes her happy, answered “nothing.” She was a widow working hard to take care of her children, and her mother had recently died. She felt like she had no one, and nothing to bring her joy. My coworker who was leading the training pointed out that many people who know this woman may never have known that she felt this way, because we oftentimes do not take the time to really get to know the people we encounter each day. She challenged us to sit down with those people we are constantly interacting with, and to really get to know them and understand where they are coming from.

On Tuesday, one of my coworkers was leading the devotional time, and spoke about when God called Moses to lead His people. God told Moses to “use what was in his hand,” and my coworker used this to motivate the careworkers to give out of what God had blessed them with, even if they think they may have little. The message really spoke to my heart as well! For the rest of the day, we talked about Hands’ core values, which I listed in one of my earlier posts. It was so interesting hearing about them from the perspectives of the careworkers instead of the staff, though. So eye-opening, just to hear what it means for them to love their neighbor as themselves, to embrace local community ownership, to serve the poorest of the poor. For many of them, they had to realign their ideas of what kids they should be serving, because naturally they want to serve all of them! However, because of limited resources, they have to look closely and determine which children are the most vulnerable. On Wednesday, we talked more about how to do this, and I think it really began to break through to them. Thursday was our last day, so it was a bit more relaxed, and that evening a bunch of us from Hands went out for a lovely dinner. What a great way to end a week of training in which we were waking up at 5 am every morning to drive the two hours to Bushbuckridge!

On Friday, we had All Hands on Deck, which is a monthly meeting where everyone comes together and shares what is going on in the different areas of Hands. A pastor from Australia who is here with a visiting team of missionaries shared a deep word, and then I went for my one-on-one with my volunteer coordinator. It was a chance to check in, as the month of orientation is officially over and now I am really settling in to my role here at Hands! Then, I had to go to the dentist (I’m having this jaw problem) and although the issue didn’t really get solved, I didn’t have to pay – praise the LORD! In the evening, we had a really fun game night with two fellow volunteers, one of my coworkers, and her two children. I really love the sense of family and community here at Hands, and I know that this is a place where I can really thrive.

This weekend was great too! On Saturday, I went out for milkshakes with one of my coworkers in Hazyview, a city about 30 minutes from the Hands Village. It was just month-end, when everyone gets paid, so the mall was PACKED and it was so fun to people-watch! Then we had a braai, which was really nice and relaxing, and then I went with my roomie and another co-worker to go to the movies to see Salt. (Yes, we do go to the movies in the country… we just have to travel almost an hour to Nelspruit LOL!) It was a really exciting Saturday because usually I just spend all day at the Village… I felt like I had a real social life this weekend! Then, today was church, back at Eph’phatha, which I really loved last time I went because of their thriving youth ministry (“youth” being my age.) It was great again today!! Such a deep time of praise and worship (and they looove to praise and worship at this church – for over an hour, I think!) Youth was great… everyone is so welcoming and friendly. Even though there’s a language barrier and someone has to interpret for me and my coworkers, one who’s Shona-speaking and one who’s Tswana-speaking, it’s definitely worth it, and I think it may become my home church!! : ) This evening, I just plan to chill and watch a movie… then back to work tomorrow!

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