“One of Us”

I am just feeling SO blessed right now, guys. I just got back from a braai at my friend Chenge’s place – these braais are kind of her tradition, and the people that come through are mostly the church crew, so it’s a really nice family vibe. I was a regular at her braais last semester too, and I realized tonight one of the reasons why I love them so much. I hadn’t really thought about it until just now, but I’m always the only American there, which symbolizes something. It makes me realize that I have truly found a family here, a group of friends that truly make up my home-away-from-home. It’s one thing to have a clique of 2 or 3 other Americans, and still have local friends too, but at the end of the day the Americans are who you roll with. It’s another thing to sit in a room talking and laughing and having deep conversations with all these amazing people from South Africa, Zimbabwe, Kenya, Botswana, Swaziland, etc., and realizing that to them you’re not just another one of the Americans, you’re a real friend and sister to them. It’s an incredible feeling.

So many people have been asking me how much longer I’m staying, and a lot of people assume I’m here for good now, so it’s SO depressing to tell them I’m leaving in June! Also, because the academic year here is February-November, a lot of people assume I’m at least here until the end of ‘09. So the conversation about me leaving has been coming up LOTS. I was talking to my friend Thami today at the braai and, like lots of people, he was shocked that I’ll be going home in June. He couldn’t really wrap his mind around the concept of me leaving, and he kept saying, “But you’re one of us now, you really are! You’re one of us.” And it made me feel SO good but SO sad at the same time. But I am trying to concentrate on the fact that I am so incredibly blessed more than anything else. I really don’t know how I’m physically going to leave on June 13; I think someone is going to have to literally drag me onto the plane. I am going to be so sad to have to leave these people, not knowing when I’m going to see them again. I was just talking to an American friend about how hard it is for people that start relationships on study abroad, but honestly, having friends THIS close is just as hard… it’s gonna be a bunch of long-distance relationships (just hopefully with less drama than real ones, lol!) But as difficult as it’s going to be to say goodbye, I just thank God for giving me this incredible opportunity. I am blessed to be able to study here for an entire year, to forge such strong bonds with such beautiful people, and to have memories that I’m going to cherish for the rest of my life.

I know that these friendships will be life-long, no matter what it takes. It was so sweet, me and William were at the mall on Monday and he’s in the dressing room and I’m sitting outside and out of nowhere, he says, “I’m coming to visit you. We’re gonna have to see each other. This isn’t gonna be it.” And he just said it so matter-of-factly, and it made me so happy to realize that we both see that this friendship IS worth preserving, that, no matter what, we’re going to work it out. And I feel that way with so many of my close friends here. It’s a reality that we’re going to be really far apart, but it’s not going to stop the connection that we have. I’ve been on little week-long programs before where you meet people from all over and you make these strong connections with people and you promise to keep in touch and you do with a few, but mostly they’re just memories of the past. But this is a YEAR, a year in which I have grown so much and so many people have been there to support me in so many different ways. The people I have met here have made me a better person, have brought me closer to God, have taught me so much about myself and the world around me, and have shown me what true friendship really is. They are always going to be a part of me, and I thank God for bringing each and every one of them into my life.

When I was talking to Thami, he was telling me about the six weeks he spent interning in Washington, DC this past summer (his first time leaving South Africa) and what a profound effect it had on him as someone who is incredibly interested in politics and public policy (I always tell him he is the next Mandela, for real!) For him, to walk through the halls of Congress, to meet senators and ambassadors, to stand where MLK delivered the “I Have A Dream” speech, was a dream come true. He told me, “it is so fulfilling to know that you are living the purpose that God has placed inside of you.” His time in DC was an unparalleled blessing for him, and so then he asked me how my time in South Africa has affected me. It really got me thinking. Honestly, I think I have grown more in this 8-month period than at any other time in my life. My eyes have truly been opened to the world around me, I have met some of the best friends I have ever had, and I have reached a stronger sense of clarity on the path I want to pursue in life. I know that God has placed inside of me a passion for people and for serving others, and in everything I do, I want to shine the light of His love into the lives of others. I am trying to stay in constant conversation with God so that He can continue to order my steps, and I feel confident that I am on the right path. Coming here has, in many ways, helped to confirm that. I can’t even describe how grateful I feel to be living and breathing and thriving in such a beautiful place with such beautiful people, and I am soaking in every moment.